Alright, time to get real.
I will go ahead and say that 7/10 girls loose their virginity to someone that didn’t truly love them. Myself included.
It sounds like he did what he could in being honest with you and despite the voice in the back of your head, you continued to move forward with this person. I am sorry that these feelings seem unrequited but I think it is time, since he doesn’t seem to be changing his mind, that you untie your bonds to this person and maybe start seeking the guy that is going to truly love you.
Truth is, I don’t believe the HYPE about “your first time” needing to be special or whatever. (Truth is, I think your first time doesn’t deserve it - In my thoughts is it awkward, uncomfortable, kinda scary and even a little messy. I would rather all those things be with a nobody than with my special somebody. But that is just me.) Its all subjective. Your first time should be anyway you want it to be. Your body, your choice. As long as it was safe and consensual - then you are alright by me. So please, have zero regrets; Fact is, your next experience with someone you really care about and who cares about you, will be the only thing that matters.
It seems as though being intimate with someone that really loves you is important, so now that you really know that - make sure the next fella is the right one. Do you, be safe, trust your heart and always look forward.
Just don’t beat yourself up, there is so much real love to be made from here on out.
Reach down and feel around for my balls.
Kidding, now let me see.